Overdue Journaling

"I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted. My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep. He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh." 2 Nephi 4:18-21

Do you feel encompassed or trapped? When do you feel this way most often?
Last night in the meeting it was mentioned a couple of times this regret and amazement at how much mental time was spent in thinking about food and being controlled by food. I completely related to this comment as I realized how much of my life and money has been spent in this trap. When can I eat next? Where can I eat so no one will see me? What fast food place am I going to go to? How far do I have to hide this wrapper in the trash so no one will see it? If I wasn't "in the food" then I was thinking about my weight, my food choices for the day, how to lose more weight, exercising for hours and hours a day, etc. It consumes me. And when I'm in the food I feel hopeless and numb and unhappy. I feel like a failure. But, when I get the food out of my body and I have a successful day of eating well and enjoying my food, I start to see what this trap really is.

What situations or feelings weakened you so you gave in to your addictions?
Extreme emotions that needed to be masked and "dealt with later"; insecurity; feeling inadequate; when I compare myself to others and realize how far short I fall; feelings of self pity..."everyone else gets to eat what they want, when they want it, why can't I?"; when I start to feel entitled to things in my life; when I start to get hard on myself and depressed.

When Nephi felt overwhelmed, in whom did he place his trust? What can you do to place more trust in the Lord?
He placed his trust and faith in the Lord. I guess I need to realize that the Lord cares about what I put into my mouth and my body. Because really, what I put into my mouth has a direct correlation to what is put into my mind. When I eat what is good for me, I'm happy and at peace...but when I eat something that isn't good for me, my mind is not at rest and I'm aggitated and feel quilty and then that leads to a downward spiral. I get numb inside and that doesn't allow me to feel the Spirit as strong as the Lord would desire for me. I know that the Lord loves me and wants something great for me. I have to have trust that He knows what is best for me and He can help me get there.