Sab Day 19

Breakfast:
8 oz milk
1 banana
2 rice cakes

Lunch:
12 oz soup
1 oz cheese
2 oz meat
6 oz grapes

Dinner:
4 oz rice
4 oz chicken
12 oz veggies
.5 oz butter

Tracy Day 19

breakfast
4 oz scrambled eggs
2 oz ezekiel bread
1 banana

lunch
3 oz chicken, 1/2 oz cheese
8 oz cabbage, 4 cooked bell peppers
1 oz asian dressing
1 oz dry fruit, 3 oz blueberries

dinner
3 oz lime chicken, 1/2 oz cheese
2 corn tortillas
4 oz lettuce, 2 oz bell peppers, 4 oz salsa, 2 oz tomato
1 oz sour cream

Sab Day 16, 17, 18

Friday, Day 16:
Breakfast:
8 oz milk
2 rice cakes
6 oz berries

Lunch:
Forgot to eat

Dinner:
2 oz tortilla chips
8 oz salsa
4 oz grilled onion and bell pepper
2 oz steak/chicken




3 oz beans
2 oz rice

Saturday, Day 17 (I was at work this day and forgot to bring food and it was a busy day and I couldn't go shopping so I just ate what I had around):
Breakfast:
8 oz milk
1 Banana

Lunch:
6 oz OJ (no sugar added)
8 oz soup (butternut squash)
1 oz cheese
2 oz assorted meats (salami, prochutto, etc)

Dinner:
8 oz salsa
2 oz tortilla chips
(I should have eaten more, but I was tired. . . and lazy)

Sunday, Day 18:
Breakfast:
2 eggs
6 oz OJ
4 oz oatmeal

Lunch:
12 oz veggies (I have some grilled ones in the fridge)
6 oz grapes
1 oz cheese
2 oz meat

Dinner: (I think I'm eating with my fam, and I have no idea what they are having)
4 oz meat
12 oz veggies
4 oz rice or potatoes


I have been having a hard time eating lately, mostly because I think that I haven't been weighing out my food the night before or planning it before eaither. I am going to do better this week and plan stuff out and have meals ready the night before (at least breakfast and lunch).

Tracy Journal Step 2: #1

"Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; beliee that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend." Mosiah 4:9

Many witnesses in heaven and in earth testify of God's existence. What evidence of God and His love have you experienced?

What's interesting to me is that I've never questioned or doubted God and His love for me. I did often think I wasn't special or worthy of His love, but I never doubted He gave it to me anyways. In EVERY, and I mean EVERY single blessing I've ever been given (whether to be set apart, or healed, or father's blessings, or just a comfort blessing, etc.) I've been told how much my Heavenly Father loves me. In my patriarchal blessing I'm told numberous times how much I'm loved. So why after all those affirmations of love and support, did I and sometimes still do, doubt my Heavenly Father? I've seen small miracles and some mighty miracles in my life. I see the beauty around me and see my loving Creator's hand and the masterpieces He's made. I have felt His loving guidance in making choices that would alter my life. I have felt that same guidance in making small, daily decisions. So why is it so easy to forget that loving guidance and make these decisions on my own? I always feel better when the Lord is in charge of my life, so why can't I just let Him? This is something I will be pondering about today as I go through my day.

Tracy Day 16

breakfast
4 oz scrambled eggs
2 scl ezekiel bread
1 banana

lunch
2 oz chicken, 1 oz cheese
9 oz cabbage, 3 oz carrots
1 oz asian dressing
2 oz dry fruit

dinner
1 oz cream cheese, 2 oz shredded chicken
1 corn tortilla, 2 oz tortilla chips
6 oz zuccini, 4 oz salsa, 2 oz tomato
1 oz sour cream

Tracy Day 15

breakfast
8 oz protein drink
1 banana
2 slc. ezekiel bread

lunch
2 oz chicken, 1 oz cheese
9 oz cabbage. 3 oz carrots
1 oz asian dressing
1 apple

dinner
4 oz sausage
4 oz potato
5 oz spagetti squash, 4 oz zuccini, 3 oz spagetti sauce
1 oz sour cream

Sab Day 15

Alright, so plan for today:
Breakfast:
8 oz milk
6 oz blueberries
2 rice cakes

Lunch:
5.5 oz V8
6.5 oz cucumber and celery
1 oz cheese
2 oz chicken
6 oz grapes

Dinner:
4 oz rice
1 oz cheese
8 oz broccoli
.5 oz butter
4 oz sugarfree icecream

Sabrina Day 14

I am waiting to weigh too. Its only a few days anyways, and I really don't want to be obsessed with my weight. I am feeling good (other than my head) and my pants are looser and thats the point anyways. I would love to be down to 164 by Feb 1, and 158 by March 1. If I could get down to 155 before Disney that would be aweeeeesome. I think those are attainable goals. . if I can start going to work out. I am going to try go talk David into letting me get Just Dance 2 for the Wii and doing it at night with him instead of watching TV. We both need to get in some cardio before Disney if we want to be strong enough to go all day every day!

I had fun yesterday! And hopefully I don't get the flu- I didn't really hang around Drew too much yesterday, mostly Maggie. So lets cross our fingers. Emma is congested today - I'm hoping I didn't give it to her, but the Dr. said that I wasn't contagious so. . . yeah.

Breakfast:
8 oz milk
6 oz strawberries
2 rice cakes

Lunch:
1 oz cheese
4 oz yogurt
6 oz grapes
5.5 oz V8
6.5 oz cucumber and celery

Dinner:
12 oz broccoli
4 oz meat
4 oz rice

Tracy Journal Step 2

How fitting that at my two week mark I'm now at Step two. After 2 weeks of eating on plan I truly feel "that He [can] deliver [me] from the bondage of addiction." I've already experienced this point too: "His Spirit will help you begin to see your choices more honestly and clearly..." I feel as though my mind is clear and my desires are more in tune with the Spirit. I can honestly see what I'm doing when I want that extra food and instead I'm able to focus on why I want to eat. Am I tired? Bored? Upset? Stressed? Happy? Is it a social thing?

I think my favorite part of Step 2 is found in the Action section at the bottom of page 8:

"The action required in step 2 is simply to become willing to practice believing in the love and mercy of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and the accessibility and blessing ofthe HOly Ghost. Our testimonies are that you can come to know the perfectly united love of the Godhead by watching for evidence of Their love and power in your life and in the lives of others."

I am so grateful to know that my belief and faith in Jesus Christ will continue to grow and blossom as I follow this plan. I've already felt the unified love of the Godhead and I know that as I open my heart and mind, I feel it more and more.

Tracy Day 14

Two weeks! That means you can weigh yourself if you want to today. But I think I'm gonna wait till Tuesday when it's the first of the month and the official weigh day. Thanks for wanting to hang out with me yesterday...hopefully it wasn't too boring for ya. And hopefully you aren't gonna regret not getting the flu vaccine cause Drew woke up in the night puking. He seems to be fine this morning but he's a little sluggish and not eating normal yet.

I'm actually feeling a little queezey myself, so we'll see how today goes...but the plan is:

breakfast
8 oz milk
2 oz dry cereal
1 banana

lunch
asian ck salad combo
3 oz ck, 1/2 oz cheese
9 oz cabbage, 3 oz carrots
1 oz dressing
2 oz dry fruit

dinner
4 oz sausage
4 oz potato
12 oz cooked veggies (5 oz spagetti squash, 4 oz zuccini, 3 oz spagetti sauce)
1 oz sour cream

Sab Day 13

I am tired. But it was such a fun day! Thanks for hanging out with me!

Breakfast:
4 oz potato
2 oz cheese
6 oz orange

Lunch
4 oz chicken
6 oz grapes
12 oz veggies (and awesome cabbage!)
dressing

Dinner:
Skipped and went to bed (ie: its 7:45 and I am going to bed right now.)

Tracy Day 13

I'm doing it! Yesteraday was an amazing day and can't help but feel hopefull and excited for my future. The car situation didn't really change, Eddie not being around didn't really change, my kids are still sick and I'm still really tired and stressed out, we didn't all of a sudden come into money, BUT I feel like my heart has changed. I had an amazing prayer to start my day yesterday and the Lord truly softened my heart and gave Eddie and I direction for our family. I feel so grateful that I have this time to grow as a mother and as a woman and as a friend. I know that I'm being stretched and pulled into change through adversity, but I'm also grateful to know that my Savior is by my side helping me through it. It's tempting to forget that and try and do it on my own.

I was thinking about something last night. You know, Eddie is gone every single night and I usually just sit around and watch tv till I fall asleep on the couch cause it's hard to go to sleep when he's not with me. It's gonna be this way till August when we hope he's done. So...what if I use each night to do something productive instead? He's away working hard, I should be too. Last night, I did my P90X video and it felt great!

So here's the plan for today:

breakfast
8 oz yogurt
6 oz mixed berries
4 oz oatmeal

lunch
asian chicken salad...ymmy!
3 oz chicken, 1/2 oz cheese
9 oz cabbage, 3 oz cucumber
1 oz asian dressing
2 oz dried fruit

dinner
4 oz salmon
4 oz rice
6 oz broccoli, 3 oz spinach, 3 oz cucumber
1 oz oil

Tracy Journal #4 & #5

"Because ye are compelled to be humble blessed are ye; for a man sometimes, if he is compelled to be humble, seeketh repentance; and now surely, whosoever repenteth shall find mercy; and he that findeth mercy and endureth to the end the same shall be saved." Alma 32:13

Write about the circumstances that have compelled you to humiliy and to seek repentance. What hope does Alma give you? How can you find or recieve that hope?

I think ultimately for me, the desire to be present in my children's lives is what led me to humility. I want to be an active mom...I want to go on bike rides and go hiking and play with them at the park and to wrestle on the floor. This has been a progressive disease for me and as I've added each child to my family I feel a greater urgency to overcome it. I truly didn't realize what I was doing to myself and my family until my mother passed away. I realized that I was following in her footsteps and I didn't want to die early. I didn't want to put my kids through what I went through. I'll make enough mistakes for my kids to work through and get over without adding this giant pain and trial in their life. Once I fully realized I had a disease and an addiction, it took a lot of time spent on my knees to finally admit it. I think sometimes I try and pretend I don't have a problem and that I'm normal, but I'm not. I will never be normal. But I do find courage and hope in Alma's words. The Lord is merciful and He will help me. I know that He can change my weaknesses to strengths and that if He desires it, I can be an instrument in His hands. Christ is my Savior and He, only He, can save me.


"Lying lips are abomination to the Lord: but they that deal truly are his delight" Proverbs 12:22

Writing the answers to these questions has called for a deep level of honesty about yourself. How does this passage of scripture relate to this kind of honesty? How can you become the Lord's delight?

I think it deals with it because this kind of honesty means your dealing with "it"...you're actually getting to the root of the problem. Until you can be honest, you cant' succeed in changing. What does it say in the OA getting starting passage? "those who do not revover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constiutionallly incapable of being honest with themselves." When we are able to be honest with ourselves and with others, the Lord can truly delight in His children and can bless us. I know I've already shared the story about having to tell nathan the truth of where his cookies went, but I haven't shared the story about lieing to Eddie about ice cream...ice cream for pete's sake! I had bought four small pint size things of ice cream with the intent of eating them all before Eddie would get home from school. The day was much busier than I had planned on and so I forgot about them. When Eddie came home and saw the ice cream he asked where they came from. I told him a lie and said someone had dropped them off for us. I then proceeded to call that person and tell them if Eddie asked or said something to cover for me. Are you kidding me? So now not only had I lied to my husband, I was asking someone else to lie for me too. I couldn't sleep that whole night and finally told him in the morning...but gracious me it was hard to do. I was embarrassed and felt ashamed and I couldn't even eat the icecream. I just dumped it all down the drain. Eddie of course forgave me and told me that he wished I could've told him the truth from the start. And I've managed to be upfront with him even when it's hard. And I'll tell you something...I feel like there is nothing that I can't tell my husband now. He knows me. Really knows me...and somehow he still loves me. I can only imagine how much more infinitely my Savior knows me and yet, still loves me.

Sab Journal 3

"Some may regard the quality of character known as honesty to be a most ordinary subject. But I believe it to be the very essence of the gospel. Without honesty, our lives...will degenerae into ugliness and chaos." Gordon B. Hinckley

Write about ways you have lied and attempted to hide your addiction from yourself and others. How has this behavior caused "ugliness and chaos"?

Oy vey. This is hard for me. I got really good at the throwing away game: gas stations were key with this. I would eat, then throw it away at the gas station before I got home. When David and I shared a car in Utah, this was key. I lied about where I got money for the food, I lied about getting food, I even lied about where the weight I was gaining came from. I lied to myself, and to David, and to others. I have become the queen of self-rationalizing. When they talk in OA about the people who can't be honest with themselves, and those are the people who don't succeed, I worry this is me. David and I are trying to be honest with each other more, and he is much more honest with me than I am with him. I have so much I haven't told him because I am ashamed. . . not about past stuff, but about food stuff. Its ridiculous that I had no problem telling him about moral issues in my past, but when it comes to food, I can't for the life of me bring myself to tell him what a horrible person I am. I know I will have to, and I have started to, but it just kills me to think of how he will think of me after I tell him. Knowing him, he'll be accepting and wonderful, but it just scares me.


Ugliness and Chaos: ugh. In every way in my life it is like this when I lie. I feel terrible inside. It eats at me. I plan the perfect moments to come clean . . . and then let them slip on by. The longer I wait the harder it is, and the harder it is, the longer I want to wait. Its a vicious cycle. And its all an inner struggle for me. The only way it seeps to the outside is when I eat and feel ugly on the outside from eating so much that I gain weight. Its amazing to me that David still loves me with all this extra weight to love. I am finally getting a control on the outer stuff, I just really need to work on the inner. Which is harder, I think.

Sab Journal 2

"It came to pass that it was for the space of many hours before Moses did again receive his natural strength like unto man; and he said unto himself: Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed." Moses 1:10

How did Moses describe himself as compared to God?
Nothing - which was something he had never thought before.

How can a little child be of infinite worth and still be nothing compared to his or her parents?
I think because a child is innocent, so whatever he does, its not for the purpose of returning to Heavenly Father - when we, as adults (or parents) do things, its with a knowledge of what we are doing. And the child is of infinite worth because we are ALL of infinite worth. Also, parents have this little thing called responsibility, which is a big reason I'm not ready to become one.

In what ways are you nothing when you do not have the help of God?
I am so so so stubborn. In my daily life, I like to think that I am going at it alone, when in reality, the only reason I am here is because of God. God gave me David, who is the biggest help in my life, and whom I would pretty much be lost without. I know that God knows I am stubborn and has David soften my heart towards praying and reading scriptures and acknowledging God's presence in our life. When I don't rely on God, things are a lot more difficult, I am a lot more stressed, and things seem a lot more dire.

In what ways are you of infinite worth?
Ugh. I hate saying good things about myself, but to put it simply, in the words of a YW song, I am of worth, of infinite worth, for Jesus the Savior Loves Me. (I think thats how it went). I am worthy of the atonement because Christ did it for me.

Write about how recognizing your helplessness to overcome your addiction on your own can bring you to admit your own nothingness and become as a litle child.
Okay, so recognizing helplessness is hard for me. I was raised by two very capable and put-together people, and being an un-put together mess is a hard thing for me to deal with being. But by accepting this fact, I can start to change my behavior and rely on God to help me overcome my issues with food. Its really hard for me, and I have a feeling that I will have to work the 12 steps many times before they really sink in.

Sab Day 12

Ugh. I feel horrible today. My nose is so full of snot. Its gross.
Plan:
Breakfast:
8 oz milk
6 oz blueberries and strawberries
2 rice cakes

Lunch:
4 oz ckn
12 oz veggies
1 pear

Dinner:
Unsure at this point.
Most likely
12 oz Stirfry veggies
4 oz meat
4 oz rice

Tracy Day 12

Thank you again for driving me last night Sabrina...I really needed to get out of the house. I feel rejuvinated and ready for the day. Here is my plan:

breakfast
2 oz milk, 6 oz yogurt
6 oz mixed berries
2 oz dry cereal

lunch
(asian ck salad...suprised;)
3 oz chicken, 1/2 oz cheese
12 oz raw veggies (Cabbage and carrots)
1 oz asian dressing
2 oz dry fruit

dinner
4 oz chicken
4 oz rice
6 oz broccoli, 6 oz salad (tomato, cucumber, carrot, celery, cilantro)
1/2 oz ranch

Tracy Journal #3

"Some may regard the quality of character known as honesty to be a most ordinary subject. But I believe it to be the very essence of the gospel. Without honesty, our lives...will degenerae into ugliness and chaos." Gordon B. Hinckley

Write about ways you have lied and attempted to hide your addiction from yourself and others. How has this behavior caused "ugliness and chaos"?

It's really hard to want to talk about the things I've done. And how I've lied. It's downright shameful and embarrassing and it feels like there are two different people inside of me. The real Tracy and the one who does these other things. The truth of the matter is, I am a liar. It's easy to lie. It's easy to make excuses and rationalize things away. I've, in a moment of strong self will, thrown treats away in the trash, only to pull them out later and eat them. I've stolen my children's halloween candy and eaten ALL OF IT! I've bought a LOT of fast food and generally throw away the wrappers in someone else's garbage can so Eddie won't see it. I've done the whole "hide the wrapper inside of something else" trick so it won't show in the trash can. I've seen my children learn from experience that if they don't scarf down their cookie/treat then there probably won't be any the next day...or even later that same day. I've gotten really good at eating normal in front of other people and then when on my own, going crazy. Really, the list could go on.

The funny thing is, I never realized that my behaviors would have any effect on anyone else. I truthfully didn't see how my actions were affecting those around me. I never really thought of it as "lying" before. I really, honestly, had no idea how disillusioned I was. I was living in my own little reality and I had no idea there was the possiblity of a different one...the REAL one. This program has honestly helped me to see that. That ugliness that President Hinckley was talking about is on the inside and that choas is on the inside. And more often than not, that chaos and ugliness shows itself in my environment. When I'm out of control and participating in my addiction, it is clear to see that I'm not right with the Lord.

Tracy Day 11

So proud of you Sabrina...and yes, it's better you're telling me rather than lieing about it. ;)

So pretty much this weekend has been horrible. I've been stuck in this bloody house all week with a sick baby, then it was because we didn't have a car and now my only day for adult interaction is going down the drain because Nathan is vommitting and I'm the "lucky one" who gets to stay home with him. :( I seriously think I'm slowly going crazy.

Anyways, here is the plan for today:

breakfast
2 eggs
4 oz ezekiel bread
1 banana

lunch
(asian ck salad)
3 oz chicken, 1/2 oz cheese
9 oz cabbage, 3 oz tomato
1 oz asian dressing
1 apple (with cinnamon)

dinner
4 oz salmon
4 oz rice
7 oz broccoli, 5 oz salad (tomato, cucumber, carrot)
1 oz balsamic

Day 11

So, today, Saturday, was day 10. This is what I actually ate.
Breakfast:
2 hardboiled eggs (minus yolk. That sounded so gross to me.)
1 rice cake

Lunch:
5 oz spinach and mushrooms (sauteed with .5 oz oil)
4 oz chicken
Green Drink (1 banana, 5 oz greens)
I felt really sick after eating all that food. Like, thought I was going to throw up. Like, had to lie down. So I didn't get my last 2 oz of veg. Sorry!

Snack: Diet Dr. Pepper  (I felt so terrible and tired I wasn't sure I could go to work) annnd. . . . a slice of apple and a small piece of sausage at Costco (the samples! they kill me! and they had tons of desserts and I just said NO! I am slowly getting the self control. SLOWLY.)
I really need to start calling/texting you before I do something like this, huh? I promise from this point forward I shall. At least I'm telling you and not lying about it, right?

Dinner:
4 oz rice (with .2 oz butter)
12 oz soup
4 oz chicken

I am feeling much more better today than yesterday. 

Here is the plan for tomorrow:
Breakfast:
2 oz scrambelled eggs
4 oz milk

6 oz fresh fruit
4 oz oatmeal (this may change if my mom makes oats again. mmmm.)

Lunch:
4 oz barbeque chicken
Green Drink (1 banana, 6 oz greens that are gonna go bad if I don't eat them tomorrow)
6 oz baby cucumbers and celery

Dinner:
Beef Stew:
Fish out:
4 oz beef
4 oz potato
6 oz veggies
Then add some broth
Then have:
6 oz salad
1 oz balsamic

Today was a good day. I cleaned the house a bit and did some laundry and then we went to Costco!!
This is what I got:
2 massive cartons of strawberries
1 massive carton of blueberries
1 package of baby cucumbers (best eveeeerrrrr. these are seriously like candy to me)
1 package pre-cut and washed celery (yay for being lazy!)
1 huge package of frozen strawberries
1 huge package "antioxident mix" frozen berries
1 huge container of spinach
1 huge package of broccoli
1 bag of pears
1 bag oranges
1 rotisserie chicken
24 cans of V-8 (I think it was 24. I dunno. A lot of them)
2 huge blocks of tillamook (our fav!) cheddar cheese
1 12 pack of sugar-free gum
A bunch of junkfood for David (which now has a home in the hall closet, away from my food!)

We spent a ton, but a lot of it will last more than a week. Party. And yeah, a lot of fruit. I will still have to get more veggies at some point this week at the normal grocery store. Our fridge is BURSTING with healthy food. It makes me so happy to have such a healthy fridge! Yaay! I think it might be David's weekly task to go to Costco for fresh fruits and veggies without me, so that I won't be tempted. Its like when in church they talk about not even going TO the party where they serve booze, right?

Tracy Day 10

breakfast
4 oz milk, 4 oz yogurt
1 banana
2 oz dry cereal

lunch
3 oz chicken, 1/2 oz cheese
12 oz cabbage
1 oz asian dressing
2 oz dry fruit

dinner
4 oz pork
4 oz rice
8 oz broccoli, 4 oz spinach
1 oz oil

Sab Day 9? Or Day 1?

Today SUCKED. Hard.
I didn't feel good all day.
Emma was grumpy mc grumperson.
I had to clean the house (at work) because the maids didn't come this week.
I have done 9 loads of laundry this week, but will do 2 more tomorrow (HOW DO THEY GO THRU SO MUCH LAUNDRY?!?!?!) and still have to do more at OUR house.
And I didn't eat what I was supposed to today.

Breakfast: Tea
Lunch: 12 oz butternut squash soup
Dinner: 4 oz home-fried potatoes (so like hashbrowns, but diced, not shredded) with onion and garlic
1.5 oz bacon
1 egg
2 clementines (3.5ish oz- I gave part of it to Emma. Its the only food we have found that she really likes thus far)
prob 1/4 cup of fresh squeezed orange juice

Yeah, not at all on plan. I mean, I didn't eat any FOOD that was off plan (unless you count the OJ, but it had no added sugar, so I dunno) but I didn't eat how I was supposed to. Dinner was mostly good, cept the whole no veggies thing, and I moved the fruit from lunch to dinner. But I just really needed an orange. Something about being sick makes me crave it, but not until late in the day today. So do I start over? If I feel bad tomorrow, I see me eating very much similar to this. Only probably less, since I will be over here at dinner time without David to run to the store to get bacon and eggs (I used potatoes that they had that were going to go bad). I am leaving my soup here to have with dinner tomorrow (I have enough left for 12 oz), and will bring my protein and grain from home. I am also going to go grocery shopping tomorrow. I have no clue what I am going to eat at this point. Maybe something like this:

Breakfast:
8 oz milk
6 oz frozen fruit (or maybe a grapefuit or something)
2 rice cakes

Lunch:
Green Drink (so use all my fruit and veggies in this)
2 hardboiled eggs - maybe devil them and use my fat that way. We'll see how I feel.

Dinner:
12 oz veg soup
4 oz chicken or beef or something
4 oz rice

Gah. Today was a hard day. Being sick on program sucks. And not wanting to eat sucks even more.
So, back to square 1? I'm okay if thats the case.
I was talking to David about it, and he was like, man, we should have had something crazy tonight, not this!
And I was like. . . dude, not the point.
At which he hung his head in shame!
Bahahaha.

Okay, its late, and they are about to get home so WE can go home.
Call me tomorrow if you go grocery shopping/do anything that you wouldn't mind me bumming around with you doing because I am going to be lazy all day if I am left to my own devices.

Over and Out

I'm sick

So I'm not eating a whole ton.

Breakfast: 8 oz yogurt
1 piece of fruit (if anything even sounds good at all. It may not)

Lunch:
8 oz yogurt
12 oz soup (tomato or butternut squash - undecided on which at this juncture)

Dinner:
12 oz soup (ditto lunch)
maybe 8 oz yogurt or 2 eggs
maybe 4 oz hashbrowns, if David will make them for me.

Swallowing hurts, and its 9:10 and I haven't even started eating. I had a huge glass of tea, and will likely have a ton of that throughout the day. Uggggh.

Tracy Journal #3

"Blessed are they which do hunger and thrist after righteousness: for they shall be filled" (Matthew 5:6)
"And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens" (Enos 1:4)

Okay, so just a thought before I read through the questions and answer them. I love this idea that I can be "filled" if I hunger after righteousness. So really, if I my desire is to do the Lord's will and have that at the foremost of my mind, my belly can be filled with the Spirit and I won't hunger after other things like food that will harm me and my soul. The other thought I had was, I sure hope my prayers are mighty.

In these two scriptures, we learn that our souls can hunger. Do you ever feel empty inside, even when you are physically hungry? What causes that emptiness?
Yes. It's that emptiness that makes me seek food or spending or sleeping or any of the other number of things I do to avoid that emptiness. I think it's caused by the spirit beckoning you back "home". It's a way for the Spirit to remind you to turn to the Lord rather than your own pitiful strength.

How can your hunger for things of the Spirit help you be more honest?
I already feel more honest. I have reached out and asked for help when I need it. I have been open with Eddie and with others and I feel like it's helped me to see the situation for what it really is. When we hunger after the Spirit and the things of righteousness, everything else in our life falls into proper perspective. I'm just so grateful I'm getting this area of my life in check now, so that I can have the Lord by myside blessing me with his spirit during these trying, exruciating really, 8 months.

Tracy Day 8 & 9

Yesterday was kind of a downer of a day, but that is really no excuse for not writing down my food and journal. It seems like if I don't do it first thing in the morning, it doesn't get done. Once the day starts, my day takes off. And I have learned through sad experience that once my writing food down and journaling goes south, it quickly leads to a relaxed frame of mind and the beginning of a downward spiral. It may not come immediately, but it does come without fail. So...here is my food from yesterday and my plan for today:

Day 8
breakfast
8 oz milk
1 banana
2 oz dry cereal

lunch
3 oz chicken, 1/2 oz cheese
6 oz V8, 6 oz salad (lettuce, tomato, carrot, onion)
1/2 oz ranch

dinner
3 oz blk beans, 1 oz cheese
1 corn tortilla, 2 oz tortilla chips
6 oz sauted bell peppers and onion, 4 oz salsa, 2 oz tomato
1 oz sour cream
(Seriously, this dinner was AWESOME!)

Day 9 (today)
breakfast
4 oz scrambled eggs
4 oz ezekiel bread
1 banana

lunch
(asian chicken salad recipe)
3 oz chicken, 1/2 oz cheese
9 oz cabbage, 3 oz carrots
1 oz asian dressing
1 apple (with cinamon sprinkled lightly on it)

dinner
3 oz pork, 1/2 oz cheese
4 oz rice
12 oz salad (lettuce, tomatoe, cilantro, onion, carrot, salsa)
1 oz sour cream

Sab Day 8

No! Cheating! Thats my motto for the day.

Breakfast: (I forgot my scale at work, so we had to use a lesser-cool, non-digital scale for breakfast and last nights dinner)
6 oz frozen fruit
8 oz milk
2 rice cakes

Lunch:
4 oz meat (the last of the beef from the other night)
12 oz broccoli
1 Banana
1/2 oz pistachios

Dinner: (We are going to Chili's with friends to celebrate their engagment. I am bringing my scale!)
4 oz chicken or beef (fajita meat)
2 oz tortilla chips
2 oz rice
4-6 oz salsa
6-8 oz veggies (fajita sides, plus extra mix veg if needed to make up for lack of salsa-ing)
1 oz sour cream

Stoked for the weekend, which = menu planning and grocery shopping! YAAAAY!

Sab Day 7

Say what? A week without cheating! (if you don't count the sushi!)
Party on, I say!

Breakfast:
8 oz milk
6 oz fresh berries (blended with milk)
2 rice cakes

Lunch:
4 oz beef
12 oz cooked veggies (cooked with a bit of OO for my fat)
1small banana (3-4 oz) and 1 clementine (2 oz)

Dinner:
12 oz broccoli and cauliflower
4 oz rice
4 oz beef and chicken

So, the movie was good. Dinner was good. Emma is in a happy mood today! And David is probably going to get out of his nursing orientation early and come over and snuggle me and Emma! YAAAY!

And yes, mopping totally counts.

Tracy Journal #2

"It came to pass that it was for the space of many hours before Moses did again recieve his natural strength like unto man; and he said unto himself: Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed." Moses 1:10

How did Moses describe himself as compared to God?
He described himself as nothing.

How can a little child be of infinite worth and still be nothing compared to his or her parents?
I think the word "nothing" is misleading. Without the sustaining and supporting of the parent, the child wouldn't survive. He would flounder and I guess in a sense be nothing.

In what ways are you nothing when you do not have the help of God?
I'm definitely like a little child. I flounder. I squirm. I make mistakes. I can't seem to do it on my own. I say I will do one thing, and then I fail. I need the help of God. I need His love and support. He sustains me.

In what ways are you of infinite worth?
Just by being who I am makes me of infinite worth. I'm created in God's image. He gave me life. You know, every night I sing to my children before bed and I find it interesting the differences in singing "you are my sunshine" and "I'm a Child of God". I try and sing "I'm a Child of God" to Maggie everyday because I really, truly want her to know who she is. Because as a child of God, she is so extrememly important and special. It makes her life have meaning and purpose. To know who you truly are, gives you strength and conviction to do what is right. Why is it so easy to forget that for yourself?

Write about how recognizing your helplessness to overcome your addiction on your own can bring you to admit your own nothingness and become as a litle child.
Like I said earlier, a child is solely dependent upon his/her parent for everything...physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. They rely on their parent to teach them and lead them and at times, discipline them. They need that constant direction and love. I am truly helpless to overcome this food addiction on my own. I use food to fill a void that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ ache to fill. I need to be more like an infant child and less like a stubborn one and ask for help. God gives me everything in my life and I know that even in this area He has interest and concern for me. He loves me and wants to sustain me.

Tracy Day 7

Thank you again for such a wonderful dinner. It was awesome! How did you guys like the movie?

So the plan is for today:

breakfast
2 eggs
4 oz ezekiel bread
1 banana

lunch
2 oz turkey, 1 oz cheese
8 oz salad, 4 oz sauted veggies
1 oz balsamic vinigriette
1 apple

dinner
4 oz salmon
4 oz rice
5 oz salad, 7 oz broccoli
1/2 oz ranch

exercise
ummm...i won't lie...probably a big fat nothing. does vacuuming and mopping count?

Sab Journaling 1

"I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted. My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep. He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh." 2 Nephi 4:18-21

Do you feel encompassed or trapped? When do you feel this way most often?
I often feel trapped by food, mostly because of the way I feel trapped in the body that it creates. I feel like its a vicious cycle, I get fat because I eat the food, and when I'm fat I want food for comfort.  It sucks. I hate it. And I want to change, and I slowly am. When we lived in Utah, I would eat a lot more than I do now. I gained all my weight in Utah. At least 20 pounds probably more like 25. I did gain 10 back here, but it was after I had lost 10 pounds, and I didn't lose it the healthy way. . . I basically ate 800 calories a day of unhealthy food, so almost nothing. And that kind of weight is very easy to put back on. I felt trapped by the weight, even when I had lost it, and even more when I put it back on.


What situations or feelings weakened you so you gave in to your addictions?
I think looking at other people and becoming jealous was a sure way for me to spiral into a binge. Utah has that mindset of perfectionism, and its really hard not to fall into it and compare yourself to everyone who looks like the lead the perfect life from the outside. Also, the winter is hard for me because I think I have a bit of SAD, so no sunshine is really tough for me. Texas has helped that a lot!


When Nephi felt overwhelmed, in whom did he place his trust? What can you do to place more trust in the Lord?
He placed his trust in God. Oh man, this is hard for me. I am not very good (read: don't do it unless David does it with me) at praying or reading scriptures or LIKING going to church. I know that God is there, and that he watches over us and our lives, but the whole church part of the church is what kills me. I am a very spiritual person, just not a very religious one, and sometimes its hard to seperate the two. I really want to work on praying by myself - not just our couples prayers at night. And I want to read scriptures. Confession: I have never read the BOM all the way thru. I want to do this. I want to have a desire to go to church and to pray and to read scriptures. And not just for David. For me. I want it for me. I am going to start by saying prayers in the morning. Then add more, like personal nightly prayers, and scripture study. But morning prayers: thats where I am starting. That is how I will place more faith in the lord.

Tracy Day 6

breakfast
4 oz nonfat plain yogurt, protein bar
6 oz mixed fruit
2 eziekiel bread (4 oz)

lunch
2 oz turkey, 1 oz cheese (sprinkle of sunflower seeds)
12 oz raw veggies (salad with tomato, cucumber, celery, carrots, bell peppers, & cilantro)
1 oz balsamic vinegriette
2 oz dry fruit

dinner
3 oz ground turkey, 1/2 oz cheese
2 corn tortillas
3 oz lettuce, 3 oz salsa, 6 oz sauted veggies
1 oz sour cream

exercise
well...i didn't wind up getting to do anything yesterday and maggie is sick today so i can't go to the gym...and i hate workout tapes by myself...i may just have to do it anyways...argh!

Sab Day 6

So, yesterday was a really really hard day for me. I wanted a cheeseburger. I wanted a Dr. Pepper. I wanted to not eat my veggies. Argh. But I went home, and David had gotten me flowers and had measured out all my food for dinner and had it all ready for me to cook. I ended up having 4 oz fish, 4 oz rice, 6 oz squash, 2 oz salad and 4 oz celery. He was just sweet and it made my day a lot better.

So, todays plan:
Breakfast:
8 oz milk
6 oz berries (blended with milk)
2 rice cakes

Lunch:
4 oz beef
12 oz squash
1 banana
1 oz nuts

Dinner:
4 oz beef
1 corn tortillas
2 oz tortilla chips
6 oz cooked bell pepers
6 oz salsa
1 oz sour cream (I think its 1 oz, I don't have it in front of me, but I'll only have as much as I'm supposed to)

I feel skinnier today. I like feeling that way!

Overdue Journaling

"I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted. My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep. He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh." 2 Nephi 4:18-21

Do you feel encompassed or trapped? When do you feel this way most often?
Last night in the meeting it was mentioned a couple of times this regret and amazement at how much mental time was spent in thinking about food and being controlled by food. I completely related to this comment as I realized how much of my life and money has been spent in this trap. When can I eat next? Where can I eat so no one will see me? What fast food place am I going to go to? How far do I have to hide this wrapper in the trash so no one will see it? If I wasn't "in the food" then I was thinking about my weight, my food choices for the day, how to lose more weight, exercising for hours and hours a day, etc. It consumes me. And when I'm in the food I feel hopeless and numb and unhappy. I feel like a failure. But, when I get the food out of my body and I have a successful day of eating well and enjoying my food, I start to see what this trap really is.

What situations or feelings weakened you so you gave in to your addictions?
Extreme emotions that needed to be masked and "dealt with later"; insecurity; feeling inadequate; when I compare myself to others and realize how far short I fall; feelings of self pity..."everyone else gets to eat what they want, when they want it, why can't I?"; when I start to feel entitled to things in my life; when I start to get hard on myself and depressed.

When Nephi felt overwhelmed, in whom did he place his trust? What can you do to place more trust in the Lord?
He placed his trust and faith in the Lord. I guess I need to realize that the Lord cares about what I put into my mouth and my body. Because really, what I put into my mouth has a direct correlation to what is put into my mind. When I eat what is good for me, I'm happy and at peace...but when I eat something that isn't good for me, my mind is not at rest and I'm aggitated and feel quilty and then that leads to a downward spiral. I get numb inside and that doesn't allow me to feel the Spirit as strong as the Lord would desire for me. I know that the Lord loves me and wants something great for me. I have to have trust that He knows what is best for me and He can help me get there.

Tracy Day 5

Today's plan:

breakfast
8 oz milk
2 oz dry cereal
2 oz dry fruit

lunch
3 oz chicken, 1/2 oz cheese
12 oz salad
1 oz balsamic (i'm gonna make some)
1 banana

dinner
4 oz blk beans, 1 oz cheese
2 corn tortillas
6 oz salad, 6 oz grilled bell peppers
1 oz sour cream

exercise
hmmm...i don't think i'll have time to go to the gym today, but i'll try and convince eddie to do a p90x after the kids are in bed.

Sab Day 5

Day 5? Already. I cannot believe that I haven't cheated. This is so un-like me. Usually, by day 2 I have eaten a candy bar. Last night, I totally could have gotten a bowl of icecream whilst David was sleeping and no one would have ever known. But I didn't! I am actually kindof hungry right now, but I'm going to get a class of water or something I guess.

Today I didn't want to eat breakfast. Not one little bit. I forced myself to. I think the one thing about this plan I don't like is that I have to eat even when I'm not hungry, or when I'm full. I don't understand that part, really.

So, Food Plan for today:
Breakfast:
4 oz oatmeal
6 oz fresh berries
8 oz milk (blended up with the berries. It was alright, but I just wanted to chug it b/c I didn't want to eat)

Lunch:
12 oz salad (which I am so not in the mood to eat now at ALL)
6 oz berries
1 oz pepperoni
1 egg
.25 oz cheese
2 TBS Balsamic Vinaigrette (remind me and I will get you some sometime this week)

Dinner
4 oz rice
4 oz meat
6 oz squash, 6 oz califlower
.25 oz butter, .5 oz sour cream (for the califlower! i'm going to blend it up like mashed potatoes!)

I liked the meeting last night. I did feel somewhat out of place, because while I think I do have issues with food, I'm not sure they are to the extremes that some people have. I dunno. It is insane to me that people stay on this plan for 10 years and don't cheat ever. I guess it will take some getting used to, the idea of never having things again. I don't know if I will be able to do it, let alone WANT to do it, especially when I reach my goal weight. What is the diet like once you get to your goal weight? Because if its just more food, not sure I can do that. Its SO MUCH FOOD already!

Only. . . . 9 more days till I can weigh in! Is it sick I'm looking forward to it? Probably.

Also, I forgot my guidebook thing at home . . . what was the first question we needed to answer? I read all the stuff, I just didn't get to doing the question.

Sab Day 4

So, yesterday I didn't go to the gym OR come work out with you.  I am lame. But I did clean out my kitchen drawers and the cabinent and MY CAR (which was in dire need) and yeah. I need to go to the gym at least 3 times this week. NO MORE LAZY!

So, as far as how I'm feeling: good. I feel pretty dang good. Its hard sometimes, like last night when David was eating Rice Cripy Treats, and sometimes I want a snack really bad, but overall its not too bad. I am pretty full from what I eat, and its all pretty good food. I need to figure out some more intresting lunches than salad, because I know I will get bored of that pretty fast, but I would like something that I don't have to cook at work. I've been weighing out and getting my food prepared for breakfast and lunch the night before, which is good and I think helps a lot, because I am too lazy to get up and do it in the morning. My visiting teachers brought me chocolate today, and I told them I am off sugar, they asked why and I said I was doing OA. I have no clue if they knew what that meant, but yeah. I am not going to hide from anyone that I am trying to deal with this whole food thing. I am excited to go to the meeting tonight!

So, today's food:
Breakfast:
4 oz steel cut oats (my mom made them in the crock pot! soooo good!)
1 oz dried apples (in the oats)
3 oz fresh berries
4 oz yogurt
4 oz milk

Lunch:
1 apple
12 oz greens (apple and greens in green-drink form, which means all blended up with a bit of agave like a smoothie)
1 hard boiled egg
1 oz cheese
1/2 oz nuts

Dinner:
6 oz bean soup (I am going to just get the beans and meat out of the soup for measuring, then add liquid after. Since its just water, I'm assuming I don't have to weigh it)
4 oz tortilla chips
4 oz salsa (or however much I can eat)
8 oz salad (or however much is left over after my salsa)
.5 oz dressing

No cheating yesterday, but it was a LOT of bacon. I was like, sick of bacon at the end, which I thought could never happen. And it was a lot of cheese too. I might melt some of it on top of my broccoli next time or something. I should have had like, chopped beef or something on top of the potato instead. I am learning!

Days without incidence: 3

Tracy Day 4

well i got done about 1/4 of the things i wanted to on my "to do" list but it was still a productive day.
- i got my lesson planned
-vacuumed and cleaned out the car (and actually put the items away rather than putting them in a bag to leave in the garage...:)
-all laundry washed....and most folded and put away.
-hung up clothes
-did the dishes (twice)
-took the kids to the library
-grocery shopping
-stayed up what felt like all night with each child for different things.
nate---his arms have a weird rash thing
drew---he had to poop and was scared it would hurt...long story
maggie---woke up like 12 times before midnight and then decided she was awake to play

the food was such a relief to not have to worry about. i just ate what i said i was gonnna eat. it was great.

sunday is always hard because of timing to eat so instead of eating within 5 hours its gonna be more like 6. here is the plan for today:

breakfast
8 oz nonfat plain yogurt
4 oz mixed berries, 2 oz banana
4 oz oatmeal

lunch
2 oz turkey, 1 oz cheese
4 oz lettuce, 4 oz chopped veggies, 4 oz tomato soup
1/2 oz ranch dressing
2 oz dry fruit leathers

dinner
4 oz scrambled eggs
2 corn tortillas
3 oz salsa, 5.5 oz V8, 3.5 oz suated bell peppers
1 oz sour cream

Sab Day 3

Sorry I didn't put this up last night. Dinner Date = getting home and not wanting to do anything but watch Bones and lay on the couch. And Today I have cleaned my car and started cleaning out my cabinents and online shopped for some stuff I need to organize! I'm going to go to Tuesday Morning after I eat lunch to see if they have anything I want for cheaper!

Yesterday went well. No cheating, unless you count eating too much protien at dinner. It could have been the right amount - I tried. But yeah, eating out is HARD to do, not to eat healthy, but to eat the right amount.

Anyways,
Breakfast:
6oz frozen fruit
4 oz yogurt, 4 oz milk
I totally forgot to eat my grain. Whoops! Do I just forget about it or replace it later in the day?

Lunch:
1 Banana
12 oz salad (probably with like 6oz of cucumber. I'm in that kind of mood)
2 oz cheese
1/2 oz ranch

Dinner:
4 oz baked potato
1 oz cheese, 2 oz bacon (can I eat bacon? I'll text you about it)
6 oz broccoli, 6 oz califlower
1oz sour cream

Question: 4 oz rice: before or after its cooked? I'm assuming after. Man, I want rice right now. Who craves that?

Days without incidence: 2? (Can I count it if I know I might have eaten a little too much at dinner? And when I foget to eat stuff do I count it? This is hard.)

Tracy Day 3

Okay, today was a little hard to wanna eat breakfast. I'm so tired and my back hurts and my kids are sick and I just want to climb back into bed and ignore that today is the "big clean day" of the week and that I need to eat food to have energy and that my husband is gone yet again. Wow, that's a lot of complaining! Let me try again. I'm tired but the Lord will bless me if I ask for help. I know He can and will. It's gonna be a great day and a productive one. It will. It will. It will. ;)

My food plan for today is:

breakfast
4 oz scrambled eggs
4 oz rice
1 banana

lunch
2 oz chicken, 1 oz cheese
12 oz raw veggies
1/2 oz salad dressing
2 oz dry fruit

dinner
3 oz refried beans, 1 oz cheese
2 corn tortillas
12 oz raw and cooked veggies
1 oz sour cream

Exercise
Clean the house
-both bathrooms
-mop the kitchen floor
-finish laundry
-bleach kitchen counters
-vacuum
-clean sheets on beds

And then after all that is done, take the kids to the library and plan my lesson. Whew! It's gonna be a great day!

Tracy Day 2

Plan:

breakfast
2 oz milk, 1 oz cheese, 1 oz jerkey
2 oz dry oat cereal
1 banana

lunch
2 oz turkey, 1 oz cheese
8 oz salad (lettuce, tomato, celery, cucumber, cilantro) 4 oz tomato juice
1/2 oz ranch
1 apple

dinner
4 oz tilapia
4 oz rice
6 oz salad 6 oz cooked mixed veggies
1/2 oz ranch

I'm tired today so I think I might just walk at the gym today instead of doing a class or running. Maybe I'll do some weight training too. I'll post what I did when I get back.

Yesterday went well considering it was day one. I was tired, but I'm always tired. ;) I was actually suprised how much fuller I felt...no hollow feeling. I almost caved and drank a diet coke, but I didn't and now I'm so pleased with myself. I'm doing it! Really doing it right!

I went to my cycle class and just about died and so didn't do my ab ripper X. Maybe today?

All in all, I feel wonderful and will come back from taking Eddie to work and will post about my scripture study/step study.

Sab Day 1 (&Day 2 Plan)

Okay, so.
Current Weight:
172
Ultimate Goal Weight:
135
Goal before Disney (March 14)
155

Past weights:
August 8 2008: 150ish (when we got married)
Jan 12 of 2008: 155 (after we got engaged)
December 29 2005: 145 (my senior year of high school)
May 23 2005: 130 (end of my junior year of high school)

So maybe 130 should be my goal weight? I dunno, we are going to stay with 135 for now, and if I get that and feel like I can lose more, I will. :-) What was funny in looking up all these weights was that I wanted to lose weight at every single weight. I have always felt like I was fat, even when I was 130!

Today I stayed on plan ALL day! I did exactly the plan except: I ate my lunch apple more than an hour after I started eating. More like 4 hours, because I was SO FULL from my salad that I didn't want to stuff myself. I could not believe how full I was. And I changed 2/4oz of chicken to 1oz of cheese, because I didn't want to eat chicken. My rice was awesome. Mmmm butter rice.

Dec 14th Plan
Breakfast:
6 oz frozen fruit
4 oz yogurt
2 oz grapenuts
4 oz fat free milk

Lunch:
12 oz salad (same as yesterday)
3.5 oz chicken
.25 oz cheese
1/2 grapefruit

Dinner:
Sushi! with a big salad! Yaaay!

Days without incidence: 1

Tracy Day 1

Okay you ready for this? I love that my last fitness blog was titled "The Last Journey" when in reality, there will never be an end to this. I think that is why the "accountability" of this blog is going to save my life. It's too easy to fall back into my addiction and to do it with baby steps of rationality. Mine is a progressive disease and it's with little steps you fall back in and then with giant leaps and bounds you find yourself right back where you left off and then matching your mistakes with bigger ones. I "fell off the wagon" for three weeks and gained 13.5 lbs. It took me a year to lose 30 lbs. So in a matter of weeks I gained almost HALF of the weight back that took me 6 of the 12 months to lose. Let's not dwell on that or I might just give up now. And that CANNOT happen. Wanna know why?


I need to be alive and active for my children, my husband, my grandchildren. I want to be the mom that will wrestle and run around with her children. When we go camping I want to be able to go on hikes and bike rides and swim in the lake without getting stuck in an innertube. I want to enjoy my husband without fearing the lights on. Or having to convince myself mid-stride that my soft, jello parts aren't distracting anyone but me. So we begin. I begin again. And I will keep going as long as it takes me to have my heart and desires changed. I don't expect a miracle because I have an addiction, but I will keep working on it under the assumption that the Lord will change me if He wants me changed.

With that, here are the stats:

Weight: 197 lbs
Dress size: 16 (kinda tight)
(I'll post measurements later tonight when Eddie gets home and can help me take them)

These pictures were taken when I weighed roughly around 185 lbs (12 lbs ago...yikes!) and I'm not taking new ones. ;) I will however post me at my heaviest... 240lbs.








And the hope of what is yet to come...again. ;)

This picture is me at 155 lbs and I got down to 143 lbs before I got pregnant with Maggie. I would like to ultimately reach 139 lbs as my final weight but we'll see what my body does and where it ultimately wants to maintain.

The how...how do I get there? One day at a time. For today the plan is as follows:

Breakfast
8 oz low fat plain yogurt
6 oz mixed berries
2 oz dry oatmeal cereal mix

Lunch
1 oz cheese, 2 oz pepperoni
12 oz raw and cooked veggies
1/2 oz ranch
2 oz dried fruit

Dinner
1/2 oz cheese, 3 oz sausage
2 oz popcorn
12 oz cooked veggies (zuccini, squash, spagetti squash, spagetti sauce)
1/2 oz ranch

Exercise
1 hour spin class
ab ripper X

Yeah, I'm not addicted to crappy food at ALL (& First Day Food Plan)

Diet the last 2 days:
Burgers
Taco Bell Supreme Tacos
Icecream
Random stuff from my bosses fridge (mashed potatoes, roast, stew, brownies, rice crispy treats, etc)
Loads of Dr. Pepper
I am debating right now about going to Sonic to get a last Burger in. (the cold will prob keep me in)
I have a sickness, for serious.

Anyways, here is my food for my very first day of OA, which will be tomorrow.

Breakfast:
6 oz of fresh fruit (already doled out and in the fridge)
2 eggs (to be made at work)
4 oz oatmeal (to be made at work)

Lunch: Chicken Salad (already in the fridge, ready to go, minus dressing)
3.5 oz chicken, .25 oz cheese
12 oz salad (mix of lettuces, celery, mushrooms, celery, cucumber, onion, tomatoes)
.5 oz salad dressing
1 apple or 6 oz grapes (depends what I'm in the mood for)

Dinner:
4 oz chicken
12 oz broccoli (I love it toooo!)
4 oz Brown Rice
.5 oz Butter (for the rice and broccoli)

Snacks: Air and Water. :-)


I will start our assignements tomorrow night!  I am super excited. I talked to my parents about it, and they seemed supportive, but skeptical I will be able to follow thru. I told them I need accounitibility, which they thought was true. Just look at my grades in college vs. my grades in high school and you can see how much I need accountibility. I also think the actual diet will be good for me and that I will enjoy eating it. I am super stoked for every meal tomorrow, except maybe dinner, mostly because its a lazy dinner because I won't get home till probably 8:30 becuase I have to put Emma to bed tomorrow night for her Dad because he is sick. David continued to be grumpy after I got home, so I put him to bed early tonight because he was bugging me and not being supportive of my preparing my food. If he continues acting like a 2 year old tomorrow, I might have to have some words with him, but I am pretty sure he just needs sleep. He's been watching too much Buffy and having bad dreams about Demons. Only my husband. *sigh* Okay, I am going to bed so I can attempt to get up early and go to the gym. We will see if it happens. I might read Harry Potter instead and work out my MIND! Bahaha.

Questions about the food plan:
Balsamic Dressing: Just .5 oz?
Can I marinate my chicken/meats? If so, what is not allowed?


Days without Incidence: 0